


How Not to Help Your Nerd Boyfriend Find a Swimsuit

by NekoAbi



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Logan is hot, M/M, Swimsuits, inappropriate language, logan doesnt know how to deal with it, remus likes his boyfriend, so does janus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:00:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24170950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NekoAbi/pseuds/NekoAbi
Summary: Logan realises he doesn’t have a swimsuit. His boyfriends want to help. They are no help.
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Comments: 2
Kudos: 134





	How Not to Help Your Nerd Boyfriend Find a Swimsuit

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY BIRTHDAY [ CLOVER](https://cloverlyanxious.tumblr.com)!! It is her birthday and she likes Intrulociet so I wrote it and I hope she likes it <3

Logan was quiet as he sat on the couch, face pensive. One of his boyfriends had suggested a ‘date day beach trip’, and the other had tentatively agreed as long as a list of stipulations were agreed to. Now the two of them were playfully bantering back and forth, a pad of paper being scrawled on to get each stipulation in writing. Logan was not listening to anything they were saying, however. He was too busy thinking about how to bring up the topic that he didn’t own attire appropriate for the beach.

It wasn’t for lack of trying that Logan didn’t own a swimsuit. It was more to do with the fact that he had not required one since he was a child and thus had had no reason to go searching for one in his adulthood. He’d barely even given the summer displays in stores a second thought when he had passed by them in recent years. A hand gently resting on his thigh had Logan suddenly jolting back to reality.

“Logan? Are you alright?”

“You haven’t added anything to our list yet. I thought you’d already have a contract to hand me, checked by a lawyer and everything!”

Logan cleared his throat awkwardly, “Apologies. I was simply… lost in thought for a moment.”

“What about? What about?” The more excitable of the two leaped over the coffee table and cuddled up against Logan’s side, looking up at him with a grin.

“Remus. We’ve mentioned time and time again. No pressuring anyone into talking about things they don’t want to talk about.”

Remus pouted, “But Jannyyyyy, I wasn’t tryyyyingggggg toooooo.”

“Stop. Both of those things. Immediately.” Janus sighed, grimacing exaggeratedly at the nickname.

Logan felt himself relax a little as the tension of the situation dissipated. He cut through the continuing argument, “It is alright. I just realised that I do not own a bathing suit.”

A beat of silence passed before a wide grin spread across Remus’ face and his eyes twinkled with mischief. He grabbed a tight hold of Logan’s wrist and began to drag the bespectacled man across the room towards the front door. “Let’s go remedy this immediately!” As his hand touched the door handle, a shout stopped him in his tracks.

“REMUS!” Janus stood back at the couch, hands on his hips and a disappointed downturn on his lips, “Are you _really_ going now?”

“Of course! What better time than the present, right, Lo-Lo?” Remus wrapped his arms around Logan’s waist, fluttering his eyelashes in a way that was supposed to be innocent before placing an uncomfortably wet kiss to Logan’s cheek.

“Oh, yes, right. And you’ll be getting so far without these…” He held the car keys up between two fingers. Remus gasped and practically threw himself over to his partner in order to snatch them out of the other’s hand, but Janus moved the keys out of Remus’ reach only moments before he could get them in his grasp. “You might also want to consider changing out of your…” Janus gave Remus a once over, “current outfit… and put on some shoes… and take your wallet… y’know, just a suggestion.” He dramatically checked his nailbeds, pointedly ignoring Remus’ continued attempts to grab the car keys.

Remus soon gave up and huffed as he walked away to change his outfit into something deemed appropriate for the outside world. Once the bedroom door had shut behind him, Janus sighed and turned to Logan with a gentle smile, as the taller man wandered back towards the couch. The car keys were handed over, their touch lingering for longer than necessary, “I managed to buy you some time to prepare. You can thank me later. Do try not to die out there, the increase in rent would be far too taxing on me.”

An amused snort fell from Logan’s lips as he slipped his shoes on and retrieved both his and Remus’ wallets from the table in the entryway. He was just slipping his into his back pocket when the bedroom door swung open once again.

“Is this better?” Remus asked, twirling and posing excessively for his partners. Neither could deny that the outfit was indeed far better, though it still had that… Remus flair that would likely cause passing parents to gape and tug their children away faster.

“It will have to do if we want to get this done today.” Logan said in an already defeated tone. He turned and headed to the door, making sure to obviously jostle the keys in his hand to get Remus to follow him, instead of annoying Janus for them.

Only once they got into the store did Logan realise what he’d gotten himself into.

Remus had him stand before the display of bathing suits. The eccentric man circled Logan, poking and prodding him in ways that seemed completely unnecessary. It was only once Remus poked Logan’s ass with a high-pitched “Boop!” did Logan snap and finally move from the spot he’d been placed in.

“What on earth are you doing?”

“Oh, I was just trying to figure out your size is all! And what would look good on you.” Remus practically purred as he approached Logan once more, his arms coming to rest around the other’s waist.

“What did all of the… touching have to do with that? Enlighten me.” Logan deadpanned, practically able to hear the response Remus was about to give him.

With yet another fluttering of his eyelashes, Remus grinned cheekily and responded, “I just wanted to touch my boyfriend. Is that a crime?”

“It depends, obviously.”

“Ooh? I do love a bit of crime…”

“Remus.” Logan’s voice held a note of warning, letting his boyfriend know that he was getting close to pushing his luck.

“Fine, fine. Back to swimsuits. We can figure out crime later!” Remus let go and turned back to the wall beside them. As his partner was taking a moment to breathe and compose himself, Remus was busy grabbing a variety of pieces off of the wall. He grabbed the last one and then grabbed a hold of Logan’s arm once more to pull him over to the changing rooms. “Here! Try these!” He dumped the pile onto the bench in the small space behind the curtain.

“Alright… but you are staying out there.” Logan said hesitantly, lightly pressing against Remus’ shoulder to get him out of the changing room. He moved without much of a fight, though the disappointment was clear on his face.

Logan couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his lips as he pulled the curtain across in front of his boyfriend’s face. Though he could be impulsive, reckless, overly sexual and a number of other descriptors, Logan could not say that any of it changed his feelings about Remus. Somehow, all the strange things he did brought Logan deeper into his affection. The playful nature of it all just helped Logan relax, even when things did start to border on illegal activity.

Speaking of illegal, it was the only work Logan could conjure up in his mind to describe the swimsuits Remus had left him with. Every single one was too revealing, either due to a complete lack of fabric or the fabric used happened to be extremely translucent. He took his time looking through them all before even considering disrobing to try some on.

“Um, Remus?” Logan asked, staring in disbelief at the choices laid out before him.

“Yeah, Logan?” Remus parroted back in the same tone, teasing him.

“Are you quite sure about these, uh, choices of yours?”

“Of course I am! They’d all look just _so good on you._ Trust me, I have an eye for this stuff.” Remus had approached the curtain so he could lower his voice, in an attempt to both be seductive and save Logan from the embarrassment of public flirting.

“…Okay…” Logan muttered under his breath as he slowly began to strip down in order to try at least one of the swimsuits – specifically the one that offered the most coverage. After far too long, Logan stood in front of the mirror looking at himself. He had to give Remus one thing; it did suit him quite well, though he couldn’t say it would work for outside of this changing room… or other, more private, areas. “Uh, Remus…? Would you… would you mind, joining me? I don’t think I can come out…”

Remus clapped loudly before his footsteps approached the curtain, “I thought you’d never ask!” The curtain swung open as the moustachioed man entered the changing room. As the curtain fell from Remus’ hand, his eyes swept Logan’s body and an almost lecherous smile spread across his face. He reached out and gently held his boyfriend’s hips, coaxing him to turn so Remus could see everything. “It’s even better than I thought.”

“Remus. This is not suitable as a swimsuit.” Logan hissed, a dark blush coating his cheeks as he was observed from every conceivable angle.

“I dunno. It seems good to me.”

“Remus.”

Finally, Remus looked up at Logan’s face and his grin faltered. The clear unease and worry behind the thick framed glasses that rested on Logan’s blushing cheeks, the hunch of his back and the twitching of his arms as he fought to not wrap them around himself, the tension in his entire body. It cut Remus to his core. “Okay. None of these.”

The voice that responded was no more than a whisper, “Thank you.”

“Gimme that one and I’ll go put these all back while you get dressed, yeah?” Logan nodded as Remus filled his arms back up with the rest of the swimsuits. Logan dropped the one he’d tried on atop the pile and Remus slipped out of the changing room. Internally, he mourned the fact that he was unsuccessful in getting Logan to agree to one of his ideas. He did look so good, and he was sure that Janus would have agreed with him too. But Logan’s comfort came first and so all of them were put on the return rack.

The couple left the store once Logan had emerged – fully dressed - from behind the curtain. Remus was gentler for the rest of their trip out, not dragging Logan from place to place – instead just guiding him. They stopped off at a small café nearby for a quick snack before heading home.

To say that Janus was unsurprised when they returned empty handed was an understatement. “Are you truly surprised that your suggestions were received so poorly?” Janus asked, shutting the cover of his book and resting it in his lap.

Remus rolled his eyes and cocked his hip, “Duh, of course. Logan looked so good and he would have looked even better in some of the others I picked out!”

“I’m sure he did…” Janus’ eyes flicked to Logan, raking his body for a moment before returning to Remus’ gaze, “Even so, we all know your taste in fashion is… different, to ours.” He gestured between himself and Logan for emphasis.

“Just because you two are adorable little squares when it comes to your outfits, doesn’t mean you can’t step out of that every once and a while!” Remus flopped into the space on the couch nearest Janus’ armchair, reaching to grab a hold of his hands, “I mean, it’s not like you two have any issues when its just us…” He grinned, pulling the hand closer to his lips.

Janus slipped his hand from Remus’ grip before he could even place the ghost of a kiss onto his fingertips – though it was highly unlikely to just be something that insufferably sweet – and turned his attention to Logan, “We’ll go and sort out this little issue ourselves tomorrow. _Just_ us two.” He directed his statement at Remus, who slumped over the arm of the couch, defeated.

\---

He knew he’d be bored without his boyfriends around, but Remus couldn’t have imagined just how restless he’d be knowing that they were out looking at swimsuits without him. He did eventually manage to lay on the couch and distract himself with some cheesy horror movies, but the moment the front door lock clicked, Remus was up on his feet. “How did it-” Remus cut himself off as Logan’s voice preceded him even entering the home.

“I truly did not think that the two of you would be at such extreme ends of this spectrum!” Logan said, as he stormed through the door. Janus shut it behind him, leaning against it. He said nothing, only gesturing to himself. Logan quickly back-peddled, “I didn’t mean- I’m sorry. I just…”

“No, no. It’s alright.” Janus held up a hand to quiet his now nervously stuttering nerd, “I have specific needs when it comes to such things.” He approached Logan and placed a chaste kiss to Logan’s cheek, a display of love that assured Logan he was fine. Logan couldn’t help placing his own kiss to Janus’ lips to replace the gentle smiles they were sharing, a kiss that slowly turned into something… more as it continued for longer than expected.

As he was left out of the affection, Remus couldn’t help himself and made a noise of frustration. The two separated and Janus rolled his eyes playfully then headed over to give their sulking boyfriend his own kiss. Immediately, Remus perked up, “It didn’t go well then?”

“No, it went _fabulously_. We just didn’t bring anything back because it went _so well_.” Janus drawled, sarcasm dripping through his voice.

“No need to be so salty about it, Janny.”

“What did I say about that?”

The two began bickering, but Logan tuned it out. He was deep in thought about his current experiences. While Remus was more than comfortable showing his entire body to the world, Janus was a completely different story. Due to his heavy scarring, it made sense that Janus would be more concerned about covering up as he needed to take extra precautions for his safety. Though, it couldn’t be said that he didn’t like to show off.

Janus had revealed that he preferred wetsuit-like outfits. What Logan hadn’t realised was how tightly some would cling to the body. He was extremely uncomfortable with the amount that was showing when he tried one on, even after his boyfriend complimented him so thoroughly.

Eventually, Logan stood, “I’m going to spend some time in the study.” His eyes were not focusing on either of his partners, as he was still deep in thought. Without waiting for a response, Logan wandered off.

Remus and Janus sat in silence, watching as the study door shut behind their boyfriend. They shared a worried glance before delving into a conversation on how to fix what they had both messed up on.

Days passed and the topic slipped from Logan’s mind. His work started getting extremely busy which provided an excellent distraction. It wasn’t until he came home one day weeks later and was greeted with the sight of his boyfriends wearing their own swimsuits that he thought about it again. He dropped his bag in its usual spot by the door with a heavy sigh, “If you are about to try and convince me to go out and look at swimsuits again, please do not.”

“We’re not.”

Logan paused in the middle of pulling off his jacket, “You’re… not?”

“Nope!”

“So… what are you… doing?”

“We don’t need to take you to look at swimsuits-” Janus started.

“-Because we have one for you right here!” Remus chimed in, holding a box out in front of him.

Logan cautiously eyed the gift as he walked towards them. As he took the box into his hands, Logan found that he was being guided to sit on the couch between his boyfriends – both of whom were eagerly watching him. The lid was lifted slowly, as if Logan assumed something venomous was going to jump out and bite him. Logan’s expression shifted to one of surprise when he saw the swimsuit inside.

The dark blue swim trunks were long and loose, something that Logan was almost ashamed to say he internally sighed in relief at. They also had a few silver coloured stripes wrapping around in an asymmetric design and – upon closer inspection – had the Ravenclaw house crest in the upper left-hand corner at the front.

“Sooooooo?” Remus asked, the silence clearly getting to him as he impatiently bounced up and down.

“I… I don’t know what to say… I uh… they’re perfect.” Logan said, a genuine smile pulling at his lips. After coaxing Logan into putting his new swimsuit on, the three of them relaxed in a makeshift ‘beach’ that had been set up in the back garden. It was made up of a small, blow-up kiddie pool and a tarp covered in sand – which had clearly been hastily placed on the ground. Remus lamented over the fact that Janus had stopped him from going and getting actual sea water and seaweed to bring the “smell of the beach to us”, instead having to settle for scented candles. Despite the odd set up and the unnecessary nature of it all, Logan couldn’t stop the deep fondness he was feeling for their beach. Though there was one question he needed answering.

“Why did you do all of this?” Logan asked suddenly. Remus stopped forming his phallic shaped sand sculpture to turn his attention to Logan, while Janus simply lifted his sunglasses. “I had never said anything about the beach setting being a difficult place to be, so I was just wondering why you set this all up…”

Janus’ wry smile crossed his lips and placed his sunglasses back down onto his nose as Remus responded casually, “It was just so you could get used to how good we look like this. Couldn’t have you getting all worked up over us in public now…” Remus playfully winked and stuck his tongue out, causing Logan to blush heavily at the implication.


End file.
